Negotiating with a Narcissist Partner for Divorce: The Essential Keys to Beating the Odds
Narcissist partners are master manipulators who love to be in control, no matter what it takes. Specifically, in a romantic relationship, a narcissistic partner is no less than a person’s worst nightmare, draining all the vitality out of you, rendering you incapable of enjoying a peaceful night’s sleep, and the trauma can even cause a sense of self-loathing. The most hurtful aspect of living with a narcissist partner is that you do not realize what a mess you are in until you find yourself living the nightmare 24/7, 365 days, struggling to break the chains. Thus, learning how to escape the nightmare is essential.
Rebecca Zung, a narcissist negotiation expert, who has also been honored as one of the top 1% divorce attorneys in the nation, explains that the world presently is suffering from another type of pandemic, not just the COVID-19 pandemic. The pandemic of narcissism is on the rise. Reportedly, 6% of the population of the world’s population is either a narcissist or possesses narcissistic tendencies.
Additionally, another 3.3% of the population is sociopathic or simply lacks a conscience. “If each one of those people abuses just five people in their lifetimes, that means more than 3 billion people, have been used, abused and/or traumatized. This is probably a low figure too. This means it is critical that people figure out a way to shift the dynamics and get rid of their toxic partners,” she says.
Rebecca Zung expressed that the narcissist’s egoistic nature that demands control of their partners makes divorces a protracted, expensive battle, right from the beginning. “The trouble begins immediately because when the narcissist’s target demands a divorce, they trigger their narcissistic injury which causes narcissistic rage to become unleashed. So they feel they must win at all costs,” she says.
However, with the correct tools and resources, the victim can gain the upper hand and negotiate through the procedure of getting a divorce on their terms. Rebecca Zung, venerated by such organizations such as “Best Lawyer in America,” by U.S. News & World Report, and “Legal Elite,” by Trends Magazine, has help millions of people break free from the evils of narcissistic spouse. Author of the best-selling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win (foreword by Robert Shapiro) and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, Rebecca Zung, in her program SLAY Your Negotiation with a Narcissist, provides the fool-proof method to negotiate with high conflict personalities and actually still emerge feeling whole, confident and powerful.
Zung highlights that the first step to negotiating is to figure out what’s really motivating the narcissist. “You need to be mindful of the fact that your partner has a pathological condition which causes them to have an endless need for narcissistic supply,” she says. “Narcissistic supply” which is anything that feeds their ego and can be anything from money to power, to manipulating partners and humiliating them.
Rebecca Zung also states that while many believe that it is almost impossible to get a divorce through mediation from the narcissist partner, that nothing could be more untrue. It is critical in negotiations to threaten a source of supply they consider to be essential. “To gain leverage over the narcissist in negotiations, you need to see what supply matters most to the narcissist, and that will be more important to the narcissist to keep than the supply that they get from intimidating and humiliating their partners,” says Rebecca Zung. It is all about cornering the narcissists using their flaw to make them settle on negotiation, then and there. “This is what I call ethically manipulating the manipulator,” Zung adds.
Lastly, Zung advises people to do what they can to be two steps ahead narcissist. “Contemplate all of your moves and remain on the offensive. Don’t find yourself trying to catch up to them, but be ahead of them, otherwise you will be playing defense the whole time and feeling like they are always winning. You definitely can beat them with the right strategy, leverage and planning.,” she says.
